Like Clockwork
by RhiDaBatch3
Summary: Ryou realizes that living with Marik, Bakura, and Malik is one of those things you only do when you have a lot of patience. Humor Story. BoyxBoy Don't like, Don't Read.


A loud crash echoed through the 2 story house and Ryou forced his milk chocolate eyes open. He glanced over at the bedside clock that blinked 5:03 and he groaned a little. That sound meant Bakura had just got in about 3 minutes ago. And said crash meant that a cretin Egyptian Yami decided he was going to try and sneak up the Thief… and fail as he always did. Now like clockwork in 3… 2… 1…

"WHAT IN THE NAME OF RA ARE YOU TWO IDIOTS DOING OUT OF BED?" Malik's enraged voice screamed from outside Ryou's cracked door and the British boy wondered why he still slept with the door open in this house. Or better yet why he let the Egyptian's move in. Bakura wouldn't leave and Ryou didn't mind that one. Honestly he didn't mind Marik and Malik either. _I just wish they'd let me sleep now and then._

With a sigh Ryou dragged himself up into a sitting position and got to his feet yawning. Downstairs it was a battle of the swears as the Thief King damned the Egyptian duo to the 6th circle of hell and said duo kept annoying him. Ryou grabbed a ponytail holder of his dresser as he walked out, tying his hair up. The usually squeaky steps couldn't be heard over the shouts being fired off in the living room and the laughter Marik was always causing.

Not even bothering to look at the mess he was going to clean up later, Ryou made his way to the kitchen and flipped on the lights to give some light off in the dark house. He yawned again and grabbed a pan to start heating up for eggs. The smell of food would at least preoccupy Marik long enough for Bakura to 'win' and Malik would forfeit when his Yami was pinned down. And once again, Ryou was correct. Silence as Marik sniffed, a growl and then 'oompf' sound when Bakura tackled him, and a fit of laughter as Malik switched sides as not to anger the victor. "Like clockwork." Muttered the white haired boy, grinning to himself.

He went to the fridge to get more eggs and as he turned back around to go to the stove, something slammed into his face, causing him to drop the carton of eggs he held in his hands. They fell around the light's feet and splashed onto the nearby cabinets and fridge. Not to mention all over Ryou's shirt, pants, and hair. The sound had grabbed the attention to the fighting threesome and they starred at Ryou, speechless at first. Then Marik fell into a fit of laughter, actually causing him to fall onto the ground. Malik tried to speak in between giggle fits, not succeeding all that well. "R-Ryou Ar-Are you-PFFT- O-kay-ay?"

Ryou blinked a little, and then let out a sigh. As if he didn't already have enough to clean up. Bakura was quickly at Ryou's side, looking his light over for any sign of injure. He pushed Ryou's egg-drenched bangs out of his face, sending yellow goo to the floor and sending both Egyptians into even more fits of laughter. Bakura shot them a death glare. "Both of you are the cause of this you idiots!"

"But Bakura, YOU were the last one to touch the pillow that hit Ry-Ry." Marik looked up from his spot on the floor, confusion written across his face. The Yami wasn't near as bright as his lighter counterpart.

"Yeah. You have terrible aim for a Thief King. No wonder you never could defeat the Pha-AH!" A knife landed dangerously close to Malik's face, cutting a few strands of blonde hair off as it did. "Hey screw off! That could have killed me!"

"But Hikari-Pretty," Marik looked up at Malik, grinning wildly. "You said it yourself. He can't aim!" This sent the duo back into a fit of laughter and earned Bakura damning their soul to the shadow realm and swearing that if he still had his shadow powers they'd be sorry.

Ryou sighed again, moving Bakura's hand away from his face. "Bakura please try not to make anymore holes in the wall. I have a hard enough time explaining the ones there to the landlord." He brushed the rest of the eggshells off his clothes and hair and started to make his way back upstairs.

"Where is Ry-Ry going?" Marik's voice piped up, once again losing any clue he had been laughing two seconds before.

"To go clean up." Was the only response Ryou felt the three needed to hear.

Boy was he wrong. Before he knew it, Marik had pulled him into his arm's, grinning that smile that any sane person would know meant he was unstable. Okay, ANYBODY would know meant the man was unstable. "I'll clean you up Ry-Ry." His tongue was sticking out and he made a move to press it against the cheek of the blushing and squirming boy he held captive.

Suddenly he was jerked back by Malik who was frowning. "Marik you idiot! He's covered in raw eggs! Have you ever heard of Salmonella?"

Marik looked at his light for a few seconds before grinning again and pulling Malik into his arms. "Hikari-pretty is jealous! Don't worry. I'll lick you clean when I'm done with Ry-Ry okay?"

"You won't be licking anyone you crazed lune!" Bakura slammed his fist into the back of the other Yami's head, face flushed. "And certainly not MY Hikari's!"

"I think 'Kura-'Kura is just jealous because I'm willing to clean Hikari-Pretty and Ry-Ry and didn't offer the same to him." The Yami showed the other his tongue in a child-like manner. "I was GOING to offer but now I don't think I will!"

"Good! I don't want your bloody tongue anywhere near me! And if you even so much as TRIED-" The switchblade Bakura somehow always managed to have on him was flipped out and in his hand.

"Ohhhh bloody huh? 'Kura-'Kura likes it rough and hard. I can tell." He laughed obnoxiously and hid behind Malik as Bakura swung the blade towards him.

"H-Hey you idiot don't cut me! Put that damn thing away before you hurt someone! I.E. ME!"

Ryou was already upstairs and he shut the door behind him. His eyes looked at the lock and he pushed it in. It wouldn't hold any of the 3 out if they really wanted in, but it was better than nothing. Least Bakura wouldn't be as mad when Marik tried to sneak into his shower again if Ryou had TRIED to use a defense.

The egg covered clothes were quickly pulled off and tossed into the hamper. He turned the knobs of the shower on and stepped in to let the heat wash away the mess of yellow goo that now covered his hair and body. He watched as it fell down the drain along with the soapy shampoo and soap and let out a sigh.

…

After his shower and a new change of clothes, Ryou walked out of his room and downstairs. Bakura was lying on the couch, flipping through TV channels with a blank look on his face. Marik was asleep in a chair, Malik sitting in his lap with his computer surfing through internet pages. Ryou looked at the mess the three seemed to completely ignore. Pillows were kicked off the couch and one was ripped open while another was hanging against the wall with one of Ryou's cooking knifes sticking out of it. Pictures were crooked on the wall and a few frames lay on the floor. The British boy had gotten smart after the first few times fights like this broke out and started keeping pictures in albums or in his own room. The coffee table (which had numerous slash marks across it) was lying on its side and one of the chairs were overturned.

"Like clockwork..." Ryou fixed the frames and pulled the knife out of the wall, grabbing both pillows and putting them on the coffee table after he put it back where it belonged. He's see if he could sew them back up for what seemed like the 10th time this week. Stuffing was scattered across the carpet along with a few strands of Blonde hair and the occasional strand of silver. A good vacuuming was in order as always but it was going to have to wait. The mess of egg goo in the kitchen demanded his attention with now and the boy set off to work cleaning it.

After a while Marik had woken up and was holding onto Marik as if he was a stuffed animal as he and Bakura were deeply involved in the cop show they were watching. Ryou walked out of the kitchen, grabbing his coat and starting to pull it on. "Where are you going Ryou?" Malik looked over at him from his Yami's arms, violet eyes curious.

"Well now I need more eggs. I'm just going to run to the store to get a few things." He smiled a little when Malik's eyes lit up. "Did you want to come along as well?"

Before Malik could answer, Marik squeezed him and dug his nose into the Egyptians hair. "Nooo!" He whined, sounding more like a child then an adult. "Hikari-Pretty is not allowed to leave. Least not without me."

"Then come along with us." It took a lot of squirming and prying (along with a few bites which only earned him bites back in return), Malik freed himself and quickly went over to Ryou, putting his own coat on. Marik grinned and jumped up, going over the lights and was blocked by Malik's scarf when he went in for a kiss.

Ryou looked back at the couch where Bakura still sat, glaring at the group out of the corner of his dark eyes. "Bakura did you want to come along as well?" Ryou knew he would regret taking both Yami to the market, but he didn't want to leave Bakura alone by himself.

"As if I'd let my light go anywhere alone with THOSE two." He got to his feet and walked over, pulling Ryou to him. Ryou giggled a little and grabbed his Yami's jacket. With a few swears directed at Marik for touching Ryou's ass, the group was off.

…

The sliding glass doors opened and the four walked in. Imminently Marik's eyes wondered over towards the toy section, and he was in the process of dragging Malik with him. "H-Hey." Ryou's voice, even when trying to get someone's attention, was very quiet so Bakura grabbed the Yami's scarf and choked the slightly taller man back. "Um, please try not to break anything. I don't really have the money to pay for any damages okay?"

"I would never make Ry-Ry pay for me!" Marik chirped, pulling the smaller light into his arms and attempting to plant a kiss on his pale cheek. Bakura roughly grabbed him back, protectively keeping his arm around the boy's slender shoulders. Marik pouted. "You don't ever share 'Kura-'Kura! I share my Hikari-Pretty with you! You should do the same!"

This made both light's turn bright red. "What in the HELL made you think I'd want you touching what's mine? I don't want my light catching whatever crazy you have!"

"That doesn't stop you from touching Malik!"

"BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP!" The saner of the two Egyptians pulled Marik off, making the taller one quickly forget about the white haired boy and start groping his own light.

"Bloody idiot." Bakura muttered as he followed behind Ryou who was pushing a shopping cart and blushing at all the attention the four had managed to collect. Why he always let them come along he had no idea.

The cart was filled a little and Ryou turned a corner as his eyes checked his list. All he needed now were Bandages (in that house he needed them more than a hospital did), eggs, milk, a few cans of veggies, the new kind of fruit juice the Egyptian's were hooked on this week, Bakura's ramen, and strawberries. Now and then he'd catch a girl or two starring at him and being the polite boy he was, Ryou would smile back at him. They would blush and whisper and giggle which would grab the attention of the Thief King. Who, being the King of Thieves, did not like others starring at what was his. So he'd wrap his arms around Ryou's waist and glare at them until they turned and walked away quickly.

"See? I told you he can't share!" Ryou looked to his left where Malik was pushing a cart with Marik's form sitting inside of it. Well, best as he could. His legs and arms hung out of his sides and he grinned as Bakura tried to hit him but he was steered out of harm's way.

"What the hell did you two want?" Bakura snapped, trying again in vain to hit the laughing Yami.

"We're bored now. Ryou are you done yet?" Malik whined a little, looking at Ryou while pouting his lower lip out.

"Not quite. It would go a lot faster if you all would help me." He smiled a little, deciding it best to get the duo away from the still annoyed Bakura. "It would be very helpful."

"How could we say no to your cute face Ry-Ry!" Marik lauighed and pointed down the asile. "Onward Hikari-Pretty! We must help Ry-Ry so we can hurry and get home to shower together!" Malik let out a laugh and quickly broke out into a run, jumping onto the cart as it took off and turned around the corner. Seconds later a crash was heard with cry's of 'Oh my Lord are you both alright?' and then fits of laughter, the patter of feet, and then the process repeated.

"I didn't even tell them what to get…" Ryou sighed, muttering 'like clockwork' under his breath but went on his way getting the groceries they needed. When they all sat nicely in the cart, Ryou was paying at the register when a tap on his shoulder got his attention. He looked behind him to see a rather pissed off security guard looking down at him. "Um, can I help you?"

"Do these belong to you?" Moving aside, Ryou blinked when he saw Malik, Marik, and Bakura (who had apparently gone off when Ryou wasn't paying attention) standing there with cuffs around their wrists. Bakura was ranting about how he wouldn't have gotten caught if Marik hadn't pointed out that there was a beer missing from one of the cartons. And Malik shot back with a 'well you didn't have to throw a tomato at me'.

With an embarrassed nod, Ryou apologized. "Y-Yes they are with me. I am very sorry about this. How much do I owe you in damage repairs?" The cop blinked a little at how he already had a check filled and quickly scribbled down an amount and handed it to him. The guard then walked over to the men and freed thier hands, giving Bakura a death glare as he did. Bakura gave it back but Ryou nudged him. Grabbing the groceries, handed each male about five bags each, saving the bag with eggs and glass for himself. "Would you all please just carry these home without putting them down and forgetting where? And Bakura they are not weapons. Marik, you may NOT eat what is inside of them until we get home. Are we clear?" He got a nod from the smaller blonde, a half 'yes' before the other was distracted by a butterfly, and a grunt from his own Yami. It was going to be a long walk home…

…

Ryou opened the door to the house, walking inside with the remainder of the bags. As usual, Marik had just pushed the wrong button on Bakura who then slammed the bags he was holding into his skull, sending cans flying all over the street. After hearing Ryou's small gasp, Malik quickly dropped his own bags and darted after them once again forgetting to look for oncoming cars. He was jerked back by Bakura in the nick of time who was then taunted by Marik about how he 'never shared yet he had to'. Which only earned another beating from the other bag Bakura held. On the positive side, the rest of the walk home was fairly quiet with Bakura beating Marik almost senseless.

Sighing, the boy started putting the groceries up then worked on dinner. The TV was flipped on in the other room and a few minutes later Malik wondered in and offered to help. Bakura set him to work on stirring a pot of pasta while he cut up the fresh veggies to make a sauce.

"Get the hell off me!"

"But my Hikari-Pretty is helping Ry-Ry cook! 'Kura-'Kura should cuddle with me instead!"

"What? No! And my bloody name is NOT 'Kura-'Kura! It is Bakura! BUH-KOO-RAH! Not 'Kura-'Kura, not fluffy, not kitty! BAKURA. Or Dark Master will do just fine. As well Thief King. But NOT HING else!" Something hit the floor with a thud and then a whine could be heard from Marik as Bakura apparently pinned the more insane Yami down and sat on him to finish the show he was watching.

Beside Ryou Malik let out a snicker and Ryou couldn't help but grin a little at the lack of patience Bakura had and the lack of knowledge Marik had. "Like clockwork."

Dinner went well other then the eating contest the Egyptian always seemed to have. By the way the duo ate you would think they never ever had even had a meal before. After about 3 helping each and not to mention the own helpings Bakura ate, it was no wonder why the hose never had to worry about leftovers. As Ryou did the dishes, Bakura went upstairs to shower where a loud thud was heard shortly after the body of Marik could be seen rolling down the stairs. Malik then died laughing until he was tackled back onto the couch by the other, seeking 'comfort' after Bakura had quote "Oh so rudely shoved him down the stairs after he'd given the Yami a nice compliment on his 'manhood'."

Malik couldn't help but laugh and placed a kiss on his Yami's lips. "Bakura doesn't like being bothered in the shower, remember?" A sly grin peered across his lips as he mumbled into his Yami's ear. "He prefers it while he's drinking something. Then he's REALLY excited." The duo laughed but soon the sound of lips on lips could be heard and Ryou turned the water up more to try and tune the duo out. When the dishes were done and put away, Ryou tossed a blanket over the half naked couple asleep sprawled across the couch. He then made his way upstairs, shutting off the light as he went. The two would wake up and move to their own room eventually. "Like clockwork."

The door to his own room was closed and he walked in curious as to why. When he was inside, he looked around but found nothing and sighed a little in relief. He was half expecting to see his own room a mess. Luckily his was one of the few rooms left safe from the mess that seemed to follow anywhere Marik went. Probably because anytime Marik came near Ryou's room, Bakura attacked him.

Ryou let out a tired yawn and started to remove his shirt to change when two hands appeared over his own and assisted him lift his shirt over his own head. "My light seems stressed. Allow me to assist…" Ryou felt his face heat up when Bakura's lips moved down his neck then lightly pushed the boy into a sitting position on his bed.

"B-Bakura what are-"

Before he could finish Bakura pressed his own lips against Ryou's and the boy melted into him. This is why he loved the Yami. No matter what, he always knew how to help. Rather Bakura was just being selfish or not, the way Bakura felt made Ryou forget about everything.

The clock beside Ryou's bed blinked 11:48pm and beside him Bakura's form lay next to him sound asleep with his arm draped around the light protectively. As always, the day was going to end with him falling to sleep next to the Yami until about 3am when it was time for the Thief to leave and do what he did best. Then the day would repeat itself. Ryou smiled to himself and settled back down against the others chest causing Bakura to shift in his sleep and move to his back, making Ryou rest on his chest. "Like clockwork." Ryou whispered, allowing sleep to consume him until he was awoke hours later to a loud crash echoing through the 2 story house.

…

**NOTE:** OH HEY LOOK. This story didn't have angst in it! :D See guy's? I do really love Ryou~! I just have a funny way of showing it.


End file.
